Al-Fatihah~

Last night.. i suddenly miss my late grandfather so much.. so much dat i really feel like to cry..

it was long ago since i had diz feeling.. but i dunno why last night i feel like really miss him... its a really deep feeling..

he was passed away since i really small if i not mistaken when i was 5 years old.. its mean about 17 years back.. i still remember the date.. 20/10... but i forgot the exact year.. hurm..

i used to stay wid my grandparents at a small village called Kampung Pegoh in the district of Alor Gajah.. and for ur information and if i not mistaken, Chef Wan's grandmother are stay at the same kampung..

so i was grown in a really kampung area i.e im a kampung boy la.. hehe.. i used to mandi sungai, fishing.. melastik.. kena sengat tebuan.. main galah panjang.. and all things that budak kampung will do at that time... but i really not dat notty la because my grandmother sangat la garang.. hehe..

hm.. back to my grandfather story... he was a policeman at Singapore.. during that time, singapore is till a part of malaysia..so he still keep some of his equipment like this 'chota' <-- not sure how its spell, the police's cap, and i still remember when my cousins and i always play 'police and thief or police sentery' <-- masa bdk2 mana tau cakap omputih sangat.. hehe..

he also had a gun @ senapang patah.. so sometimes when my atok went to hunt the 'burung puyuh which at that time can be get easily at my village, i always follow him.. really miss dat day.. hehe.. the gun is very heavy and its taller than me... i can not imagine how small i am at that time.. hehe... but unfortunately after my grandfather passed away, the gun need to return back due to legal problem which i not really know because i really an innocent small kid at that time..

when he pension as a policeman,my father used to drive a taxi.. during the weekend sometimes i will follow him to carry the passenger.. not because i like to follow him but usually after that, he will bring me to melaka town.. (can u imagine the feeling of a kampung boy when bring to a town?).. i really can see in my mind box now... the places that we go.. the emporium that we go.. i think all the emporium are still there in malacca.. but the places was changes a lot for this past 2,3 years.. i also can remember well that everytime he come back home.. he will buy me toys.. its not a big toy but the small2 toy.. i dunno how to describe it~ HEHE.. because of him, i have 2 or 3 boxes full of toys and its still there at my grandmother's house.. its like my treasure~ hehe..

for me.. the most remote memory that i can remember very well is the memory with him and the most clear memory during my childhood is the day that my atok pass away... i really can remember almost everysingle thing i did at that time.. what i really regret is... i not even cry on that day.. i really dun cry even for a drop of tear... i even follow to the graveyard... i really dunno why... right now all the memories on that day come vividly in my mind... i even can see the faces of the people come to my house dat day.. i still remember dat i walk from my house with everyone to the graveyard... 

my grandfather is the one who inspire me to become a doctor.. he had an asthma.. so everytime he had the asthma attack, he will told me with his breathlessness like this.. "qish... nanti dah besar, jadi doktor.. boleh ubatkan atok..." (i can not stop my tears drop~).. insyaAllah in the next 1 and half year or more.. i will become a doctor.. i hope he will be happy.. and i also hope he will be happy 'there'... atok, thanks for inspiring me to become a doctor.. i think without ur inspiration, i will be an engineer, teacher or anything other than doctor.. and after all.... semuanya itu qada' and qadar dari ALLAH.. hanya Allah yang mengetahui ajal, jodoh, rezeki dan tanah kubur kita.....

Al-fatihah to the late Haron bin Hashim...