the lost

So far setahun xde gf... Hidup boleh go on seperti biasa... Tapi after a week without laptop.. Pergh.. Carca marba hidup aku.. Hari nie lepak jeram.. Tgk org dgn slr.. Telan air liur je aku.. Hurm...nasib badan...
Yang paling aku sedih mengenangkan segala document.. Notes... Pictures.. Songs... Yang ada dalam laptop tue.. Yela.. Laptop boleh beli lagi.. Patah tumbuh hilang berganti.. Tapi collection dan memories? Haih...

D.I.A.M

Diam tanda setuju...
Diam mungkin segalanya...
Diam tanda marah...
Memendam rasa menahan amarah...
Diam tanda berfikir...
Masa depan.. Perancangan teliti..
Diam mungkin kesepian...
Tiada lawan bicara.. Tiada teman hidup..
Diam mungkin keamanan..
Jauh dari hingar bingar pekik lolong..
Diam itu ketenangan..
Diam itu kebosanan..
Diam itu keharmonian..
Masa dan ketika mendefinasikan diam..
Diam mungkin melupakan..
Atau dilupai...
Diam itu mungkin personaliti..
Tabiat..
Sikap..
Amalan...
Diam itu mungkin segalanya..
Diam mungkin menjauhi diri..
Memberi ruang dan masa..
Kadang kala lebih baik diam dari bersuara...
kalau selalu diam menjadi penyakit hati...
Aku memilih diam dari bersuara....

Cikgu mendidik...
Polis tanggap org jahat..
Setiap org ada peranan masing2.
Student belajar..
Pencuri mencuri...
Masing-masing ada tugas masing2...
Siapa la doktor tanpa pesakit..
Siapa la artis tanpa peminat..
Kita semua wujud sebab org lain..
Kita mungkin ayah.. Mak.. Abang.. Kakak or adik kepada someone..
Someone maybe husband.. Wife.. Bf or gf kepada kita...
Kita adalah seseorg kepada org lain tanpa kita sedar...
Hidup kita mesti dalam satu segi bermakna kepada hidup lain..
Either in a good way or the other way round...
Kadang2 terpulang kepada kita nak decide yg mana satu...
Cuma kadang-kadang tak semestinya org tue bermakna dalam hidup kita.. Kita nie bermakna dalam hidup dia..
So.. Sendiri mau ingat la.. Kan?

S.H.E

she is ordinary but she is so special to me.. She is plain but she make my life so colourful... She look simple but she make me feel complicated... She is nice.. But she make me feel bad... She is a reality but she make me dream all the time... She is not mine but I want to make her mine.. She dun care about me but I really care about her.. She always forget me.. But she always in my mind..

2 days of my life

I just realize since last friday till today.. I have been working around the clock..EOD oncall x3.. Sound pathetic.. And today I'm not oncall.. And I have tomorow before another EOD x 3.. Then I will only have time for myself for sleep bath and shit at prn basis.. Regret? Nope.. Just feel pathetic and kinda a loser because finally I have a chance to ponder about my life.. A deep think about myself.. What I want in life..about future...
Life is been great so far.. Good job.. Good car.. Good clothes.. Happy family... But as most of my friend are getting married and get out from our single circle.. I started to feel empty and lonely.. Sound desperate.. Yes.. I'm young.. But I believe this is human nature.. And I should start thinking about it.... I start to look at other people with their family.. Esp a young couple with their baby.. Which I have been seen so many time since I'm in my OnG posting....
Option.. Of coz.. But sori if I hurt u.. U might be perfect.. But u can't make me feel it..sori again.. Doesn't mean it.. And no need to say sori to myself if u think I'm hurt coz we are playing in the same ground.. Its fair for me to get hurt either...
Tit for tat..
Sure there will be polar of the magnet which will be attracted to each other.. Without any outer force.. So just wait till the right polar meets..

hidup semua

Tak semua benda yg kita nak dalam hidup kita dapat..
Tak semua benda hidup nie ikut lumrah alam..
tak semua hati itu suci...
Tak semua org pakai akal yang logik...
Tak semua org baik budi..
Tak semua org berniat baik...
Tak semua berbaik sangka...
Tak semua org berfikiran positive...

Yang penting hati yang ikhlas...
Yang penting sentiasa ingatkanNya..
Yang penting kita berfikiran positive..
Yang penting kita berbaik sangka...
Yang penting kita berniat baik...

Mungkin kita akan ditindas kalau sentiasa baik dan ikut peraturan.. Yang penting hidup dirahmati.....

feel small

When u stand alone the middle of mosque... Right below its dom
When u stand alone in the middle of the field of empty old trafford
When u look at the sky full of stars while u r alone at the beach
When u look down from the top of klcc
When u read about great warrior and king stories
when u know u just one of HIS slave

ingatan diri sendiri

Memandu.. Kadang-kadang kita terlalu laju.... Terlalu fokus ke depan... Dunia sekadar apa yg dekat depan windscreen... Kiri kanan sekadar yg dijeling.. Sekadar yg sempat... Yg belakang kiranya kalau di hon or di high beam... Kadang benda yg didepan pun terlalu kecil sampai habis dilanggar dilenyek... Terlalu fokus ke arah yg dituju.... Mcm hidup juga...........

Memandu. Santai.. Kiri kanan pandang.. Sampai sempat usya awek kiri kanan... Keindahan ciptaan tuhan.. Sempat usya keta-keta lain dijalanan... Lambat sket sampai... Luas pemandangan... Mcm hidup juga....

Santai atau fokus... Itu pilihan masing-masing... Soalan. Apa kehendak diri sendiri.. Apa yg kita nak dalam hidup.. Apa yg kita kejar dalam hidup... Kejar benda yg dicita atau menikmati apa yg mendatang disepanjang perjalanan.. Beza. Cepat dan berjaya.. Lambat tapi menikmati.. Sekali lagi.. Apa yg kita nak dalam hidup....masalah.. Sering terlupa apa yg diri sendiri mahu.. Dan hanyut dalam arus kehendak dan rentak org lain

Its amazing when someone can make u smile when she smile.. Membuatkan anda mahu humming kau buat aku tersenyum by sheila on7...
This is the 100 entry in this blog.. Part of the entry was made when I was single.. When I was with someone.. When I am back to be single and young and dangerous..but I guess I had found somebody special.. But yeah.. Its too early :) When I set up this blog, I was a medical school.. Budak mentah, hardly contributing to this world.. Just a burden to the govt and country.. And this 100 posting was made while I'm now a house officer at a govt hosp..
This blog was made as my personal channel to air my dissatisfaction, grumble.. My feeling.. My up and down and when I get angry... Hehe..I dun even care if anyone ever read it.. I just hope that one day when I was old and forget about simple2 thing about me in the past.. I could simply look back and see how shallow my mind at that specific moment and time.. And perhaps it could remind me back some sweet memories :)

advanture in life

How would u define adventure in life?
1.U saw a random girl.. Then u go all out to get her.. U dun even know her.. U never speak to her.. U just decide u want to go after her... Hehe...
2.U have a good and secure job but 1 day u decide that all and I want to try something new.. So u resign and start looking for a new job or start a business.. A burger stall perhaps?
3.U pack ur bag, buy a flight ticket to sumwhere random and start a life there.. Totally a new life...

I hav been told once by my teacher... When we r in a comfort zone, we always try to stay within the comfort zone but we dunno the world outside our comfort zone and what its offer.. Unless we try and step out of our comfort zone.. In my life I did it once and for me its the turning point of my life so far.. But I just think that I'm in the new comfort zone which I should abandon it and start being adventurous.. Now I'm too comfort being a single guy... At least feel "comfortable" with my job.. And comfortable with the place i stay...should I start to hunt a random girl? Lookinh a new job? Or migrate somewhere? Or the best is do all.. Get a girl, quit my job and fly? Hehe.. Sound interesting...